


404: (True) Birthday Not Found

by Dragonfruiteen



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: #LetDreamSayFuck2020, Birthdays, Dream just wants to be friendly, M/M, Swearing, chocolateeeeee, seriously Error calm down this is getting out of hand, too many birthdays, wrote and edited this all in a day and a half oop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:34:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23483905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragonfruiteen/pseuds/Dragonfruiteen
Summary: Error really likes throwing himself birthday parties, and since no one knows what hisactualbirthday is, they can't do anything about it. The entire multiverse excluding the glitch himself works together to try and figure it out, but Dream's the only one who actually tries to get closer to the "birthday boy."
Relationships: Bad Gays Poly + Hearts/Lust (implied), Insomnia (Error/Dream)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 163





	404: (True) Birthday Not Found

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday, Error! Fun fact, this is the first time I've actually gotten something done in time to post _on_ a character's birthday- usually I don't realize until the day of and it's too late to start anything. 
> 
> Also, quite a lot of this was yoinked from conversations in the rarepair cult discord server. A lot of it is my own ideas but some is other people's headcanons that snuck in whoops.

The multiverse had many mysteries. Why didn't Ink have a soul? Why were skeleton monsters so prominent both as outcodes and within the AUs? What even was Fresh, and why? Yes, there were quite a few questions and not nearly enough answers. 

But the most important mystery of all, a question that many beings asked themselves on at least a weekly basis: _When was Error's birthday?_

Ink was the first to point out the discrepancies. According to his scarf, Error had announced it was his birthday three times in one month. No one paid much attention at first- "Oh, you just made a mistake writing it down, don't be ridiculous," but soon it became glaringly obvious to everyone that something else was going on. 

**"What do you mean you ate my fucking chocolate?! On my _birthday?!_ How could you?"**

Cross blinked and wiped a smear of chocolate on his face. "I thought your birthday was last week…?" he asked slowly. 

Error stared at Cross like he was a braindead lamprey. **"And your point is?"**

Cross hesitated and debated the advisability of saying anything. Probably not the smartest move given who he was talking to, but, "You're... only supposed to have one birthday a year. So when is it, actually?" 

Error turned and walked away without a word.

Error snarled and swiped at Ink with a handful of strings. The protector dodged easily with a cheerful laugh. "What's got your panties in a twist?" he teased. "You look like a cat with spoiled cream!" 

**"Shut up!"** Error spat. **"Asshole, you're supposed to be nice to people on their birthday."**

Ink stopped dead and nearly got hit over the head with a bone attack. "Wait, wait," he said, eyelights flickering between various confused shapes as he frantically checked his scarf. "Your birthday…? Is today? But I wrote it down two days ago… and a week before that… and two days in a row before _that_ … Error, when is your-" 

He looked up and the glitch was gone. 

**"Happy birthday to me… happy birthday to me… happy birthday to meeeeeeeee~ happy birthday to me!"** Error sang softly as he perused the bakery shelves. **"Ooh, chocolate. Yum!"** he said cheerfully as he snatched a cake from the shelf. Behind the counter a rabbit monster cowered. He briefly considered killing her, but…

 **"You're lucky it's a special day for me,"** he told the terrified bunny. **"I'll let you live, for now."**

Humming under his breath, he took his cake and left. Now, for an evening of binging Undernovela and gorging himself sick on sweets. What could be better? 

"I don't understand," Sci muttered, staring at the massive calendar tacked to the wall. "Birthday" was written on nearly every date in an amazing variety of colors and handwriting. The multicolor glitter pen scrawls and scribbles punctuated by doodles were Ink, the deep greenish-black with loops and flourishes was Nightmare, the simple yet oddly cute script written in plain black was Dream, and there were dozens more besides. Every outcode, and many incodes, who had encountered Error on a "birthday" had added the date to this calendar in the hopes of figuring out what his _actual_ birthday was. It was quite possibly the only thing so many different people from all over the multiverse had collaborated on with no fatalities… well, no fatalities _yet_. 

"It doesn't make sense," Nightmare growled from the table, studying a smaller printout of the same calendar. "There's no pattern whatsoever." Next to him Dream let out an exasperated puff of air and slumped across the table.

"We've been at this for _months,_ " Dust groaned as he crumpled his printout into a ball and chucked it at Hearts. "We've figured out nothing except that Error is an unpredictable asshole, which we already knew." 

Sci mumbled an acknowledgement and didn't look away from the calendar. "There's got to be something we haven't noticed," he mumbled. "Some pattern. There's _got_ to be."

Dream knew the pattern. 

In hindsight, it was so _obvious._ But it wasn't the sort of thing anyone else would pick up on, except for maybe Nightmare- and frankly, Dream was more than a little disappointed that his brother _hadn't_ noticed. 

Error threw himself a "birthday party" whenever he was upset. The reason could be as small as Ink laughing at him, or as big as getting humiliated in front of an entire Underground by a surprisingly tough Undyne. Whatever it was, when he was upset he would steal some cake, maybe destroy a world or two, and react to any slights against him with an offended, "it's my birthday!" 

It didn't help with figuring out what his actual birthday was, but Dream was okay with that. Now that he knew what was going on, he had a tiny little bit of idea. Would it work? Maybe yes, probably no. Was he going to try it, consequences be damned? Of course! 

"Happy birthday, Error!" 

The glitch eyed Dream skeptically. **"What the fuck?"**

Dream smiled nervously, fidgeting slightly under that intense red glare. "You're holding a cake, s-so I figured it was your birthday. Am I w-wrong…?" 

Error was silent for a few minutes. To anyone else it would seem like he was debating whether or not to tear Dream apart, but the guardian could sense he wasn't _that_ aggressive. Most likely, he was deciding if he wanted to be spiteful and say Dream was wrong.

 **"...yeah, it is,"** he said finally. **"Why do you care?"**

Dream's smile felt awkward, but he couldn't think of what else to do with his face. "U-um, well, because… it's your birthday! It's a special day, and… I g-got you a present!"

He thrust a bar of chocolate towards the glitch before his nerve failed him completely and he fled, leaving a bemused Error staring after him. 

"Happ-"

 **"Yeah, yeah, I fucking know,"** Error groaned. **"Happy birthday. You say it every time. Come on, get some cake and then leave me alone."**

Dream smiled slightly and did as Error said, cutting himself a small slice of the chocolate cake perched on a big rock. This was becoming a bit of a regular thing between them- Error would start throwing a fit, Dream would show up, he would have some cake and then leave. Usually they met in Outertale, like now, but it wasn't unusual for Error to choose a different world. 

Dream pulled a chocolate bar out of his pocket and set it by the cake before turning to leave, but before he could go a single word had him stopping dead in his tracks. 

**"Wait."**

"Hm?" He turned slightly and glanced curiously over his shoulder. 

Error shifted uncomfortably and looked elsewhere as he said, **"Have you watched Undernovela?"**

Dream slowly shook his head no, wondering where this was going. "I haven't had the chance, although I've heard a lot about it. Maybe someday I'll be able to-" He let out a yelp as strings suddenly wrapped around his arm and tugged him none too gently towards Error.

 **"Sit the fuck down,"** he grumbled. **"And _be quiet."_**

Dream sat on the couch sandwiched between Ink and Blue, half-watching whatever show was on and trying not to doze off. The next moment he was _very much awake_ as blue strings shot through a rift in space and dragged him through while his friends sat frozen with shock.

The strings dropped him flat on his ass in the anti-void while Error stood over him with crossed arms. "Ow! Error, what the fuck?" Dream asked, gingerly getting to his feet and rubbing at his sore coccyx. 

**"Where the hell have you been?"** Error grumbled. **"It's my birthday, asshat."**

The glitch's emotions felt… odd. He wasn't as angry as he looked outwardly, instead he felt… nervous. Disappointed. A faint sense of betrayal. Dream was incredibly confused until he realized Error had been _expecting_ him. When Dream hadn't shown, he'd taken measures into his own hands, or more specifically, his strings. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was your birthday," he said truthfully. "I spent all morning letting Ink drag me around and it must have slipped my mind." Error harrumphed and turned away, but Dream could sense his faint relief that he wasn't being purposefully ignored. 

**"Come on, I got snacks,"** he said as he walked towards a pair of bean bags that by now were very familiar. They'd had several Undernovela sessions here over the past few weeks, and Dream had to admit he was pretty invested in it now. 

"Okay, okay, I'm coming," Dream said, hurrying after Error with a small smile that was only a little bit because of the show they were going to watch. 

Sci paced back and forth beneath the calendar with his hands clasped behind his back. "So, you've been meeting with Error for his so-called birthdays on a regular basis, but you still don't know when it actually is?" he asked, whirling to fix the guardian in his unwavering stare. Dream chuckled nervously. 

"I've asked a couple times, but whenever I bring it up he quits talking. Once he threw me out in the middle of an episode. I'm starting to think…" he hesitated, glancing around the room. 

Nightmare was seated in a swivel chair with his gang lounging around him like so many cats, and Hearts perched on the conference table behind him. Ink sat cross legged on the floor, doodling on himself and probably not paying any attention. Blue was listening attentively from within a group of other incodes like Red and Outer, most of whom were listening… less attentively. Reaper, Geno, Fresh, Core… quite a few people were present. 

"Go on," Dust called, cupping his hands around his mouth. Dream sighed. 

"I'm starting to think he doesn't actually know when his birthday is," Dream said, then winced slightly at the sudden barrage of shock and disbelief from everyone else within the room. 

Sci stopped dead and stared at him. "That- no," he said. "That can't be right. If he doesn't _know_ then-" he turned and gazed wildly up at the massive calendar, completely covered in writing and notes. "If he doesn't know then there was never a point in all of this!" 

"We've been wasting our time?" Cross asked incredulously. "Come on!" 

"I-I'm sorry," Dream said helplessly. "I could be wrong, but it's just the way he reacts whenever I bring it up." 

Nightmare stood up, tentacles slowly twisting behind him. "Well, if Dream is right, there's nothing to be done about it," he said. "Perhaps there are other ways to find out, but for my part, I'm done. Come on, we're leaving." The last part was directed at the gang and Hearts, who all snagged all a tendril just in time to be dragged along to… wherever the hell Nightmare was going. 

Sci stared mournfully up at the calendar. All that work, all that documentation and late nights trying to pick out a pattern… wasted. Dream rested a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," he said again softly. 

It was becoming fairly regular for strings to suddenly come out of nowhere and snatch Dream, although it happening in the middle of a battle was new. One moment Dream had an arrow nocked and aimed at Nightmare, the next he was being dragged into a portal while Dust cackled maniacally at the expression on his face. 

"Error! This really isn't a good time," he sputtered as the strings deposited him on the floor. "I'm in the middle of-"

 **"I know,"** Error interrupted with a scowl. **"Idiot. You didn't even see Killer sneaking up on you. You're lucky I decided I would rather have you here right now."**

The implications of that shocked Dream into silence. Error had… protected him? "I…" he stared up at the glitch, mouth hanging open slightly. "I… um... th-thanks," he managed to say finally. 

Error bristled. **"Don't fucking thank me. I don't care what happens to you, but if you're hurt then you won't want to watch Undernovela. Get your sorry ass over here, it's about to start."**

When Dream still didn't move he made an annoyed sound in the back of his throat and dragged him over with strings, plopping him on a bean bag and then sitting down on the other himself.

For once, the guardian couldn't concentrate on his show. Instead he kept sneaking furtive glances at the glitch's peaceful, happy expression, and the subtle sparkle in his eyelights whenever he started going off on another theory or explaining some part of the episode Dream had missed. 

**"It's not my birthday,"** Error interrupted Dream's greeting after being yanked through yet another portal.

"W-what?" the guardian said, wondering if he'd heard that right.

 **"It's not my birthday,"** Error repeated. **"I don't need a fucking reason to hang out with you, stop assuming things. Idiot."**

"Okay, okay, sorry," Dream apologized, but he couldn't help grinning a little. This was more than he had ever hoped for-! The glitch had admitted to enjoying his company several times, although never in so many words. And surprisingly, Dream.. really enjoyed Error's company as well. Blue and Ink were good friends, but they weren't nearly as relaxing to just hang out with. That might seem a little weird seeing as Error was a literal destroyer of worlds, but he wasn't throwing glitter everywhere or blowing up the kitchen or any of the other dozen things his fellow Stars always seemed to be doing. 

Error huffed and stomped towards the bean bags, effectively distracting Dream from his reverie. **"What the hell are you waiting for? Come on!"**

**"Take it."**

Dream hesitated, staring down at the plain box Error had shoved into his hands. "What-"

**"Just open it, idiot!"**

"Okay, okay…" He flipped up the flaps with one hand and reached in. Something soft gave way beneath his searching fingers and he pulled out- "Oh my stars," he breathed, staring down at the tiny, perfect replica of himself in doll form. "Error, this- this is amazing! I love it, thank you!" 

He looked up and nearly gasped as he saw something he'd never seen before. Error was _blushing._

 **"Of- of course it is, I made it,"** the glitch blustered, looking away. But he kept glancing back at Dream's face, staring at… something. **"What the fuck is up with your eyes?"** he asked finally. 

Dream jumped. "O-oh, are they… stars?" he asked with a nervous chuckle. "Sorry, that happens sometimes when I get excited." He blinked and they changed back to normal. 

**"...cute,"** Error muttered, then flushed bright yellow while Dream let out a startled, embarrassed little shriek and promptly hid his burning face in the doll. 

_Cute._

_Error thought his star eyes were cute._

Ever since Error had given him the doll- which was now one of his most prized possessions- Dream hadn't been able to forget about that day. Every time he thought about it he felt warm and flustered, and Blue had remarked on his persistent blush several times now. 

Dream groaned and covered his face as he felt himself heating up again. Why was he so flustered over this? It wasn't anywhere near the first time someone had called him cute, so why did he want to bury his face in a pillow and scream whenever he thought about it? 

_He thinks I'm cute._

_I think he's cute._

Error growled and kicked an empty soda can through a portal. He didn't know what was happening to him, and he didn't like it. At least he was pretty sure he didn't like it. He felt… weird, when Dream was around, but it was a good kind of weird. All… soft and fluttery. And when his eyes had turned into those little stars… fuck, Error wanted nothing more than to make that happen again. 

**"What the hell is happening to me,"** he muttered, burying his face in his hands. **"Why do I even care? He's an abomination, void damn it! He makes me feel weird. He's nice, he's patient, he's fucking adorable when he's confused, he…"** Error trailed off, eyes widening as he realized what he was saying. 

**"Fuck."**

"Are you okay?" Dream asked quietly. Error looked down at the guardian curled up next to him, almost touching but not quite. When had he gotten so close, and more importantly, why didn't he mind it? 

**"Of course I'm okay,"** he snapped. **"Why the hell wouldn't I be?"**

Dream shrugged. "No reason, I was just wondering. You've been a little… off, lately." 

Error huffed and looked away, but Dream could feel the turmoil of emotions within the glitch. It was all too mixed up and confused for him to understand, but he knew there was _something_ going on. 

**"I'm fine,"** Error muttered to himself, as though he'd forgotten Dream was there. **"It's… nothing."**

"Error… w-what are you doing?" 

Dream couldn't quite hide the nervousness in his voice. He'd popped into the anti-void only to immediately be snared by strings and strung up in the air like one of Error's puppets. The glitch in question was staring down at him with a confused, frustrated expression. 

**"What the hell have you done to me?"** he murmured, leaning in. Dream froze when Error's hand touched his cheek, tentatively cupped his face and ran his thumb over the guardian's jaw. The glitch had _never_ initiated contact, and nearly always turned Dream down when he asked, even though his aura made the glitch's haphephobia much easier to deal with.

 **"I don't understand,"** he whispered, searching for something in the guardian's golden gaze. **"You…"**

Their faces were so close they were almost touching. Dream barely dared to even breathe as he stared into Error's bewildered eyes. He felt his face heating up, and after a moment he realized Error was starting to blush as well. 

The glitch jumped back as though he had been burned. **"Why are you so fucking _cute?!"_** he snarled. Before Dream could react the strings loosened and he was dropped through a portal into Blue's thankfully empty living room. 

He slowly sat down on the couch with trembling legs and raised his hand to hover over the spot where Error had touched him. "Wha… what?" he whispered weakly. "What the hell just… o-oh stars, _he called me cute again-!"_

Dream had been planning to wait a few days before returning, after… whatever the heck had happened between them. Error had other plans. 

"Not again!" Blue groaned as strings wound around Dream's torso. The guardian said a hasty apology just as the strings tightened and yanked him backwards over the couch. 

"O-oh, hi, Error," he said as the world seemed to flip upside down then right-side up and suddenly the glitch was standing in front of him. "Mind letting go of me now?"

 **"No,"** Error said, stepping forward. He was… was he blushing? Why? **"Hold still,"** he said. Not an order, a request. Incredibly confused, Dream obeyed. Several more strings snaked around him anyway, making it so he really couldn't move. He ignored the twinge of discomfort at being so completely confined- this was Error, it was okay. He wasn't going to hurt him...

**"C-close your eyes."**

Dream did as he was told, even as his confusion only grew. "Error, what-" 

A kiss cut him off. Soft and shy and painfully sweet, Dream's sockets snapped open as Error pulled back, blushing and glitching slightly. "Wha- I- um-" he stammered, mouth hanging agape and his soul singing.

Error huffed. **"Why the fuck are you so cute?"** he asked, sounding frustrated. **"Fucking hell, you're driving me insane, Dream. I just want to…to…"**

"Kiss me again?" Dream suggested despite his burning face. Error was visibly surprised by the suggestion, but then smirked. 

**"Not a bad idea,"** he purred, stepping in closer. This time Dream was ready for it. 

"Error?" 

**"Hm?"**

"Do you know when your birthday is?" 

Error blinked and looked down at his boyfriend sprawled across his lap- _his boyfriend,_ stars, he could still hardly believe it even after almost a month. **"Why do you ask?"**

Dream shrugged slowly. "Nothing important, it's just that all this-" he waved his hands around vaguely- "happened because the other outcodes and I were trying to figure out your actual birthday, and I started getting to know you, and… well. It's been a while and I still don't know if _you_ even know." 

Error hummed thoughtfully. **"I do know when it is,"** he said slowly, then smirked. **"You don't get to know, though."**

"What?" Dream sat up quickly. "Error, why?!" 

The glitch chuckled. **"Because, starlight-"** he wrapped his hands around Dream's wrists and leaned in- **"if you don't know when it is, then you'll just have to treat me like everyday is my birthday."**

Dream pouted and would have crossed his arms if his hands weren't trapped, although he was slightly flustered from just how _close_ Error was. "Fine, have it your way," he murmured, and then leaned up and kissed him with a smile. "Happy birthday, Error."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed, please consider leaving kudos or even a comment- they mean a lot to me!


End file.
